Just Thinking

I have wanted to get my story about my experiences with melanoma out for a while.  I wasn't sure how.  About a month ago, I decided that I should do it through a blog.  At first, I thought I would post all kinds of information, stats, tips, etc.  There are plenty of sites that do that, and while I am sure I will share some, I want to leave that to the experts.  Then I wanted to just tell my story, and hopefully use it to let others know that they are not alone.  I have felt very alone at times, due to lack of support from friends and family.  Most feel I should just move on.  Then I thought I would help people find the bright side of their experience.  There is one, I promise.

What I have found, is that this site is taking on a life of its own.  Last night I was working on a new post.  I thought it would be a recap of an event I participated in.  As I typed, an internal struggle that I had prior to the event unfolded.  I wasn't going to share that, it was the ugly side of having something that nobody takes seriously.  As it unfolded, I started having doubts about sharing it.  It is so hard to share that things aren't just peachy all the time..  So I didn't post it, yet.

As I laid in bed last night, it came to me.  These postings are taking on a life of their own, because, just as life, it is not scripted.  It isn't all sunshine and rainbows.  There are hurt feelings, friends lost, negative feedback, etc..  I am experiencing them, just as anyone else going through this would, and to not share that side of the story, wouldn't be true to myself or anyone else who may come across this.

I am not a "glass half empty" person, and I dont want to present myself that way.  However, I cannot beat myself up over sharing negative experiences or feelings either.  In order to overcome a challenge you have to face a challenge.  Through my journey, I have to share the challenges, so that I can also share the victories.