Thursday, January 5, 2012

Finally... Pictures of My Scar

In a previous post, I somewhat explained why I have not disclosed as much personal information in my blog.  My family is not supportive of "this melanoma thing".  They treat it as though I am overreacting, that several relatives have had precancerous spots removed, "and they are fine", I need to just move on with life.  I have been questioned about why I am going to these skin exams every three months, and I have even had to justify the fact that my doctor felt the need to do yet another biopsy.

After I wrote that post, I talked to a family member, who I often feel is one of my closest friends too.  She always listens to me when I talk about anything melanoma, and was as outraged at me at some remarks that came my way from another family member.  I told her how I hated how my husband knows of this blog, but that he hasn't looked.  I told her how I know if other family members had seen how I somewhat portray them in a negative light, support-wise, they would probably be hurt. I have talked about my scar in enough detail, that I hope you can picture it.  I would love to show a picture, of it, of me, but even a picture of my scar would be recognizable to my family members.  After I hung up with that family member, I realized something, I have sent her the link to this blog and my Facebook page, and to my knowledge it hasn't been seen.  I've really had it on my mind for the past week or so.

From reading blogs, of those who share their name or pictures, you feel more like you know the person. It does become more personal, more real.  I started thinking again about how my family doesn't (seem to) care, and how I want to protect their feelings for not (seeming to) care.  Yet, how does that level of caring, affect how I feel?  I feel isolated enough, when it comes to melanoma, with my family.   Why hold myself at arms length on here too?

So here goes... I will start with my main scar..  The reason I feel so blessed that it was caught early, and that I need to get the word out about melanoma.  My scar is small and healed very nicely, there is still redness around it and puckering at the edges that the camera doesn't always catch.  I sometimes feel it feeds into the "just cut it out, and you are fine" mentality of many.  At the same time, being in such a prominent place, it does draw enough attention that I can share my story often.

Probably the last picture of my mole

Post-biopsy, I took this the day I found out it was melanoma.

3 days post surgery.  Incision was approximately 6 cm x 2 cm.  2 layers of shoelace style stitches below with the steri-strip above.

Very small.  Taken from a bridesmaid photo the day I removed the steri-strip, 10 days after surgery.

6 months later, you can see the beginning of the "freckle" in the center.

Shave biopsy of "freckle" on scar 18 months later. 

I plan to post soon about the results of the latest biopsy.  I am waiting on a return call from the dermatologist first.  

1 comment:

  1. My husband has never read my blog or looked at my facebook page. But he still thinks he's very supportive. Sometimes he is. But still. I spend a lot of time on research and writing and he's never looked at any of it. Neither has my brother that I'm aware of.
    Carolyn - Dodged a Bullet